We don't just like to produce great work for Barclaycard, we like to feature in it wherever possible! Last week Activity Director Andy, and our Head of Art & Design, Phil, got into character for the latest photo shoot.
Any caption suggestions are welcome!
After our friendly mauling of the utterly redundant Lady
Gaga the other week, people have been clamouring – nay begging – to know who’s
next to get it doggy style.
And so we give you the utterly and completely pointless
Piers Morgan, most recently seen in these parts as the sub-Simon Cowell nasty
judge on Britain’s Got Talent, alongside….oh, er Simon Cowell.
This is classic Piers. Not only does he have nothing
original or interesting to say, preferring instead to reheat and rehash the MO
of others but (1) he picks fairly useless people to emulate (Cf Cowell, Kelvin
Mackenzie, Julia Phillips – check out “You’ll never eat lunch in this town
again” for a proper dish on Hollywood slebs, before she hit the skids with the
incoherent “Driving under the affluence” which reads like it was written on
Angel Dust – because it was!) and (2) he isn’t even smart enough to do it on
another channel! No, Piers proves he’s no Simon Cowell by sitting next to …, Mr
Shiny Teeth himself. Like, duh!
His recent series on the world’s rich and sleb-stuffed
locations – Dubai, Monaco, Hollywood (again) – was equally redundant. Oh gosh,
Piers liked them all. Oh gosh, Piers likes champagne and fast cars and pretty
girls and yachts….zzzz.
Piers even managed to view the thousands of immigrant
workers held in work camps just outside Dubai’s developments, without proper
sanitation or immigration rights, as being just part of the great capitalist
opportunity being extended to them by the friendly Sheikhs he was having
champagne with on a yacht.
His sole redeeming feature is that he wears a nice suit.
Kilgour if we’re not mistaken (too big to be Richard James, too louche to be
Gieves…) and very nice they are too.
As someone once said of Robert Mitchum’s acting technique -“He points
his suit at people” – so it looks like Piers will follow suit (do you see what I did there?).
Perhaps if he let his suit write the next instalment of
Hollywood diaries it would be more interesting than the snoozathon that was
Volume 3. A book so dull I had to keep
pressing a rusty nail into my thigh to prevent myself slipping into a coma.
Maybe
if we stop paying attention to him, he’ll just go away?
Posted by Anonymous
Strategic Planner, Nick Backhouse, gives us his season synopsis for NCFC. True to Planner form, he even manages to get a 'statistical analysis' in there.
You know what they say guys, 'every cloud…'
Well it’s over at last. The Canaries’ season started pretty badly and basically didn’t get better. The truth is that we weren’t really good enough.
So let’s get the technical bits over first. Delivering 49 points with a goal difference of less than -20 in the past would have meant safety, but not this time. It shows how tight the lower and middle levels of the Championship were this year. But that isn’t an excuse, it’s just an observation. So where did the real problem lie?
Whether Gunn was, or will be, the right man isn’t the issue. The die had already been cast when he took over. The real problem was Roeder’s use of the loan system. Too many players coming in who weren’t match-fit. Once they had regained their touch and started to forge a relationship with the rest of the squad they were either recalled or got injured. But was this the manager’s fault? Possibly not? Perhaps the real issue lies with the structure of the game and how it affects teams who aspire to better things but don’t have the financial muscle to deliver.
This prevalent use of the loan system is just sticking plaster. Let’s hope next season City can deliver a squad of permanent players with a good blend of home-grown youth and experience willing to go that extra mile for the club’s fight for promotion.
Ok that’s the technical bit done, which will have lost half the Agency ( primarily the female half I suspect). Now let’s have a look at how the Agency’s support over the last nine months has gone.
I am surprised that as the leading communications business in the area whose major client is the Canaries’ sponsor, we haven’t been more positive.
Looking at those in the Agency who are interested in football, we seem to break down into discrete segments.
Firstly there’s a group of lads who live, work and maybe were born in the area who support a north London team (which by the way around Christmas was not pulling up any trees and whose manager will walk off when the going gets tough next season ) . Yes guys, you know who I’m talking about! Why not make Norwich your second team and get behind them next season instead of using the Premiership as a reason to bite the hand that feeds you?
Next. There are some of us who follow the team but only really when they get free seats, usually unused season tickets. OK next season let’s be ‘aving you. Stump up and support for all the home games. Fair-weather support won’t be good enough in Division 1.
Interesting group this next one. It comes out of the Dad’s Army school of ‘we’re all doomed’. Well for next season that isn’t going to be good enough. If you are a supporter, stop whinging and be positive. Despair can be as contagious as swine flu . The motto has got to be ‘ let’s look on the bright side’.
Now I come to the most disturbing, and possibly the most destructive, typology. Season ticket holders who go some of the time but rubbish the performances, win or lose, all of the time. Having completed a statistical analysis, there is actually a direct correlation, with high confidence limits, between their attendance and home points dropped. Basically a negative Brand Payback situation! Again they know who they are and if this makes them see ‘red’, so be it.
Finally, here are some suggestions that the Board may want to take up to help support the team (and indirectly, our major client’s sponsorship budget).
'Join me through the keyhole…who works in an office like this?'
Bearded Canary.
It's May, which means two things…a) it's finally getting warmer, and b) it's time for another 30 second interview. This month our financial controller, Stewart, talks crunchies, the lottery, and his passion for anything egregious!
He's got the 'model point' pose down to a tee
My favourite ad is: Thank Crunchie it's Friday. First time I was impressed with the cleverness of a campaign using teasers
A winning smile: is like a lucky lottery ticket (I don't often manage either). Or is that a winning simile?
I am always happy: at home with my wife and daughter
My favourite journey: involves lots of accelerating, with me driving
I only lie: for the benefit of other people
I admire: my wife
The words or phrases I most overuse are: I egregiously overuse egregious
My greatest talent is: Is understanding how data fit together. Woo.
My biggest regret is: too recent to discuss here!
As is tradition here at balloon dog, the first week of the month is always celebrated with First Friday Drinks. This usually involves our Agency Principal, James, and Commercial Managing Partner, Sian, carting a few popcorn vendor trays full of booze around the agency (a welcome relief to the busy week!). Sadly, this month James was unable to do the rounds…so to ensure he wouldn't be too sorely missed Relationship Director Eliot paid tribute to him by donning a James mask, and a MASSIVELY BLING watch (well it may not have been that bling…but you get the picture!).
