He's the new EU President: the man we're sending to do business with Obama, Medvedev and Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao.
I can see them all down Starbucks, having a coffee, about to sort out climate change or maybe the middle east…and then Barack saying "Hold up lads, Herman's not here. Best hold off till he gets here otherwise we'll mess it up. My shout…Wen – do you take sugar in your latte?"
But, no matter your feelings about MadTone, wee Davey had a point. If Yoorp is going to be taken seriously on the world stage, it needs a serious player to represent it.
And sadly Herman is somebody's Dad. From Belgium.
He doesn't even have serious hair! And hair is important: ask Silvio.
No, it's a major faux pas, brought about by EU leaders being too insecure to appoint someone with any clout. Herman van Rompuy is the John Major of Europe: the least offensive option, the compromise candidate.
Never mind, they say the Foreign Minister is the real power.
For that we have…um…Baroness Cathy Ashton.
Make mine a Venti, Barack! We could be here a while…