Is there anything sadder than the current sight of Danny Cipriani and Gavin Henson trailing around looking for a new 'angle' to work, having been dumped by their respective (more famous) girlfriends?
Danny recently felt the momentary return of the paps' klieg flashes on his pretty face when Alexandra Burke made a beeline for him. But now she too has moved on, it's all gone a bit darko for Danny again and he was last pictured looking slightly messy exiting a nightclub (Faces in Essex, surely?) in a beautiful Addison Lee people mover. Cool move Danny. Leave the Gallardo at home. What next? The N34 nightbus with a kebab and a can of Magners?
Meanwhile Big Gav has been inviting reality TV programme concepts (clearly channelling Peter Andre's stellar post-divorce career trajectory – er, downward…) with little overt success and has now put word out that he would like to try his hand at actual acting.
Boys, time to man up. The girls have gone. Gone! It was good while it lasted. But now you need to find pace in relative anonymity. We suggest a call to Will Carling. He hath trod the path you face: famous wife (Julia) and possibly the most famous 'squeeze' of all time (HRH) and then it all went t*ts up.
But, you know, there's solace to be found in commentating on the Under-12s quarter finals on some scratchy digital channel. Late at night. In New Zealand.